I Turned Down A Job!

Don't hate me... It's another post about JOBS!  But don't worry, this one is a tad bit more interesting, maybe?  

I turned down a paying job.  

Yep, it happened.  I turned down a paying job.  What in the world was I thinking?!  

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted a really whiny post about how stressed I was with my current unemployment status?  Well that day I applied for a ridiculous amount of retail positions.  Previously, I had sworn up and down that I wouldn't apply for retail positions but I decided I really just.needed.a.job- no matter what the job title.  A couple days later I got a call back by one of these retail stores.  The call caught me by surprise because 1) I had somehow completely forgotten that I had applied to this place and 2) I never answer my phone when I don't recognize the number calling (call me crazy, but I kind of hate talking on the phone period, so I usually avoid picking up when I don't know who is on the other line-but really, this is a whole other post on its own.)  The lady was very nice, asked me a few questions and pretty much offered me a seasonal position on the spot.  

Now normally someone in my shoes would be jumping with joy about the opportunity, but I wasn't.  First of all, part of the reason I decided to apply for retail positions was because I figured if I was going to work retail I'd at least pick a place I loved to shop so I could take advantage of the discount (hey, I'm just being honest here).  Well, the store that offered me the position isn't a clothing store, but more of a furniture/home goods store (may not be too hard to figure out what store I'm talking about, but I want to avoid using the name for obvious reasons!)  Not somewhere I really need or want a discount-at least not now.  

The bigger reason I wasn't sold on working for this particular store was the dozens of rules the manager gave me over the phone.  The biggest rule being that I would be expected to work anywhere between 25-40+ hours per week from now until the 1st week of January and I was not allowed to request any days off.  If I missed one shift I would automatically be fired and there was no "shift trading" among employees allowed.  

Now normally this wouldn't be any biggie.  I've never missed a day of work before (unless I had a legitimate reason and it was approved by the boss man), but my dad is coming to visit me for 5 days during Thanksgiving.  I explained this to the lady and asked if there was any way to work around some of those days, I'd even be willing to not start working until after he leaves.  She was nice but told me that wasn't possible.  She also told me that chances are pretty good I'd be working almost every single day he was here. 

Now, obviously if I had a legal position I would have no problem having my dad cancel his visit or just missing out on seeing him a couple of the days he was here, but I don't think I'm going to miss out for some job where I'm already miserable just listening to all of the rules, I won't be able to buy awesome clothes at a great discount, all while getting paid minimum wage for the next 8 weeks.

I realize that I picked a really bad time to apply for retail jobs- hello seasonal positions only.  If I'm still unemployed AFTER the holiday season I'll apply for retail positions and gladly accept minimum wage (and a good discount, hopefully?)

 

Hair Woes

My hair frustrates me.  I mean it really, really frustrates me.  I’m constantly tempted to just cut it all off and start over (but really, I’d never be that brave). 

I have naturally medium brown hair.  Throughout high school I used to lighten it by getting tons of blonde highlights.  In college I made the decision I wanted darker hair-which somehow always came out reddish.  When I started law school I decided I had had enough spending so much money on dyeing my hair, so I let my natural color grow in.  I loved it!  My natural color was the color I had been trying to get for years!  Who knew?! 

However, my love for my easy maintenance, beautiful hair color was short lived when one day I discovered…….GRAY HAIRS!  Yes, I found gray hair at only 21 years old.  Not too many, but just enough for me to notice and be embarrassed!  Throughout the past few years, I’ve experimented with different colors but I’ve never been very happy.  It’s always too dark, too light, too red, fades too fast, shows too many grays, yadda yadda yadda. 

Well, given the fact that money is a little tight right now and I’m unemployed, I haven’t colored or cut my hair in about 4-5 months.  I keep telling myself that I’m going to just go to Target or Sally’s and buy a box hair dye and do it myself, but I don’t think I’ll ever be courageous enough to do that!

Nevertheless, I have a bigger problem than just hair color.  I’ve noticed that for the past few months my hair has become incredibly DRY.  My scalp has always been super oily (and it still is), but from about the mid-section to the ends my hair is dry as straw.  To combat the dryness I’ve tried:

I just bought these and have high hopes, based on numerous reviews I’ve read:

 Do any of you suffer from dry hair?  Any recommendations?

Good Old College Days

My boyfriend and I met our freshman year of college.  We instantly became best friends.  We had so much in common-same outlook on life, same values, same future goals, etc.  We just clicked.  We didn't officially start dating until 2.5 years later, but our friendship was immediate. 

We constantly talk about the good old college days and wish, more than anything, we could go back to that time.  People aren't kidding when they say college is the best time of your life! 

Last night around 8pm we were missing our college friends and our typical college night routine so we decided to be spontaneous and have some fun... In college, a typical Thurs.-Sat. night included dinner out with friends, going back to someone's dorm/apt and drinking/playing games/having fun.  This was always followed up by aimlessly roaming around our small college campus and then a call to our campus shuttle for a ride to Del Taco. 

So, what did we do?  We hit up the grocery store for some alcohol (beer for bf, wine for me) and on our way home stopped off at Del Taco for our usual college order! (We haven't had Del Taco since college!)  And in true college fashion, as we were finishing up the evening and getting ready for bed, bf shattered a glass all over the carpet! 

When bf's alarm went off early this morning we were quickly reminded why we can't really go back to college (hello tiredness and headache!)  Do you miss your college days?

Dreams

Last night I had the strangest, yet most comforting dream.  I don't remember too much of it, but I was sitting in a Doctor's office waiting to get a flu shot (random much?).  I kept waiting and waiting and waiting, but it was taking forever; yet, I was the only one sitting in the waiting room.  I started stressing because I was supposed to meet my mom at the airport for our flight to our vacation destination.  (My mom passed away 3.5 years ago)  I remember that while I was on the phone with my mom she kept emphasizing how important it was that I make it to the airport on time.  After waiting for the Dr. for over an hour, I realized that this flu shot was obviously just not that important and it was time to hit the road and head to the airport.  My dream ended when I jumped in the cab (umm, I never take cabs-why didn't I just drive to the airport?!) and headed off to meet my mom.  I'm still not sure whether or not I made it in time!

Why would this crazy dream be comforting you ask?  Well, since my mom passed away, I find myself having dreams about her every now and then (but certainly not often enough!).  I love it.  If you've ever lost someone close to you, you may know the feeling I'm talking about.  I get to see and talk to her in my dreams and there is something just so comforting about that.  The crazy thing is, these dreams always come at the most perfect time.  Yesterday, (remember? when I was all whiny and depressing) was a hard day for me, so having a dream about my mom made me feel so much better, and allowed me to put things back into perspective.  Crazy how the world works, huh?   

And while on the topic of yesterday I just wanted to thank the 2 people who took the time to leave me sweet comments.  While I wish this situation and these feelings upon no one, it is somewhat comforting knowing others are right there with me.  So THANK YOU!  I was worried the post might be off-putting (and to some of you, it may have been) but it made me feel better just to be able to get it all out. 

Just one of those days...

I'm having one of those days...
...one of those days where you wake up knowing the day is not going to be good.
...one of those days where nothing goes your way.
...one of those days where you just want to climb into bed, pull the covers over your head and ignore the world.
...yes, I'm having one of those days.

Pity party for 1? Yes, please. 

I'm going to preface this post by saying that I don't usually have too many of these days.  I'm generally a happy person.  I'm a very lucky person- I'm healthy, my dad is healthy, I have a wonderful boyfriend, roof over my head and a refrigerator full of food.  My situation is SO much better than many people out there.  I know that.  But, right now I'm going through a hard time, so I'm going to take a minute and just spill.  Just get it all out.  Hopefully it helps.

My day started with an email remainder that my student loans (that are currently in deferment) will enter repayment in just a few short weeks.  I knew this time was coming.  I've dreaded it from the minute I graduated.  The email lead me to open the government website that contains all of my loan information-mainly the total amount I owe.  It's not a pretty number.  It's one of the biggest numbers I've ever seen.  Many people could buy a HOME with this number.  Just looking at it is sooo incredibly daunting.  I know, I shouldn't complain too much, I mean I did get a JD from a good school in an expensive city.  But unfortunately that's no comfort when I'm currently unemployed and that degree is doing absolutely nothing for me at the moment.

After the depressing loan reminder I had a long and tearful conversation with my dad.  I want to start by saying that my dad has been incredibly supportive of my situation recently (well, my whole life really!).  I couldn't afford to live where I do if it wasn't for my dad.  I wouldn't drive the car I drive if it wasn't for my dad.  I wouldn't have the "freedom" to stay home everyday and look for a job if it wasn't for my dad.  If my dad wasn't helping me out, I'd probably be back at home living under his roof.  However, I don't like that my dad has to help me.  I've always worked, always made my own money and never had to rely on my dad (until recently).  I hate being dependent on him at this point in my life.  But, up until now, I really haven't had much of a choice (if I want to continue living in the city I do and looking for a legal position in the state I took the bar exam in).  The conversation with my dad was about next month's rent, which in turn lead to him expressing his frustration in my current situation, which lead to my breakdown.  He knows I'm trying and the second the words escaped his mouth he knew he was wrong and that he upset me.  He knows I'm trying, just like I know I'm trying.  Unfortunately, trying isn't always good enough.  Trying doesn't pay the bills!

Needless to say, for the past 4 hours straight I have looked into and applied for countless retail positions.  I filled out a ridiculous number of applications for clothing stores, home good stores, banks, etc.  For goodness sake, I took a 30 question math quiz for a bank teller position!  I'm absolutely desperate at this point.  I just need a job-any job.

I know this post may come off as incredibly whiny, and that's not my intention.  I'm just expressing how I feel.  Desperate, stressed, exhausted...

If anyone has any words of encouragement or ideas for where I should (or shouldn't!) apply please, PLEASE feel free to leave them in the comments.

Weekly Goals

Unlike most weeks, (see also: unemployment) I have a decently long to-do list for this week.  It's basically a bunch of junk I should have accomplished weeks ago, but for one reason or another keeps getting put on the back burner (because....well you know, sitting on the couch all day and watching mindless tv and farting around on the internet is just SO much more important).  So, in no particular order, here is what must be done this week:

1. Get a CA driver's license: I've been talking about doing this for months, and I can no longer put it off!  I've already started reading through the handbook (I'm wondering if this is really even necessary.  I mean I've been driving for 9 years, do I really need to study?)  I tried to make a DMV appointment online, but the 1st available appointment time wasn't until DECEMBER!  Guess I'll have to brave the long line.
2. Have blood taken: This is something else that I've been meaning to do for well over a month.  In fact, it's been ordered by my Doctor, and yet I still am finding excuses to avoid it!  I hate having blood taken.  I get so light-headed and woozy, it's horrible.  When I was younger, I used to shake so badly when they would try to take my blood that they would literally have 3 people holding me down.  I blame my fear on an incident that occurred when I was young: the person who was taking my blood kept losing my vein and I ended up being pricked countless times on both arms.  It was traumatizing to say the least.  I still, to this day, tell every nurse about my fear and insist that they use the smallest possible needle (butterfly needle, I think?).
3. Figure out my student loan situation: As any student (especially law student) can tell you- student loans are a confusing, stressful situation!  Luckily I haven't had to think about mine thanks to my grace period. But my loans come back into repayment starting in November, so I really need to sit down and figure this stinky stuff out.  Yes I participated in the mandatory "exit counseling" my school had, but that doesn't mean I learned anything or understand what to do next!  Just thinking about my loans gives me a headache.  Yuck! 
4. Take the dog and cats to the vet: My cats are due for their yearly shots and my dog needs some maintenance work so I need to gather up my zoo and head to the vet.  I'll need boyfriend's help for this!  Taking three animals to the vet is no small task.
5. Paperwork: I recently got a job (well, not really a job job, just a little side thing).  The company sent me SO MUCH PAPERWORK to fill out before my follow-up meeting on Thursday.  Every single time I sit down to start it, I get overwhelmed and walk away!
6. Job Applications: My goal for this week is to send out at least 15 resumes/cover letters.
7. Gym: I haven't been doing well with getting to the gym, so I'm determined to get my butt in gear at least 4 days this week.  
8. Cooking: I usually like to try at least 2 new recipes each week.  We only have our meals planned for Monday and Tuesday, so I should have plenty of chances to cook up something new this week.  Any recipe suggestions?
9. Housework: Another thing I've been pretty lax about lately is housework!  I was not born with the domestic gene so the house has to be in pretty terrible shape before I notice!  Laundry is starting to pile up so it's time to get on it!  

Okay, now this probably isn't even half of what I really need to do, but it's a start.   What are your goals for the week?  Please share!

Gym Motivation

The past few years I've had an on and off relationship with the gym and working out.  One week I'm on and the next I'm off!  Recently I decided it's time that I take this whole "healthy lifestyle" thing seriously.  This means cutting out most of the junk I eat and exercising regularly.

I started a few weeks ago and was doing great.  I was going to the gym at least 5 days per week doing cardio and weights.  I was even filtering in a few choice workout dvd's that I love.

All my hard work came to an abrupt end when I got sick about a week ago.  Today is the first day I feel well enough to begin working out again, and I can already tell I'm going to have a hard time dragging myself to the gym.  It never fails, I'll be doing really well, take an extra day or two off and then my progress just falls by the wayside.  I'm determined to not let this week off sabotage my good start!  I WILL workout today, and I WILL workout tomorrow! (Someone should even leave me a comment in a couple days to confirm that I kept my word!)

My question for you is: what do you do to stay motivated?  What is your motivation for going to the gym, eating healthy or whatever else you do!  Help a girl out!